Saturday, August 11, 2007


the·od·i·cy [thee-od-uh-see]
–noun, plural -cies.
a vindication of the divine attributes, particularly holiness and justice, in establishing or allowing the existence of physical and moral evil.
[Origin: 1790–1800; THEO + Gk dík(é) justice + -y, modeled on F théodicée, a coinage of Leibniz]

I was told that theodicy dealt with the problem of evil: ie., why do bad things happen to good people?

Why do bad things happen to the innocent?

Murder, infanticide, abortion I can understand - God must allow the free will of the evil man as well as the good, and the will to choose both good and evil. But why does He allow His little ones to suffer pain where free will is not involved? What have they done? They can't understand it, rationalize it, numb it with drugs or dissociation ... why must they suffer the pain of illness?

And why must I hear the heart-cracking wails of my infant son? The nurses do not find his veins with just one try; an IV today took 50 minutes of trying, and crying.

B. starts crying now if his legs or arms are grabbed - he anticipates the needles and the blood-work that will come.


We have been transferred to the local Children's Hospital, into the NICU there. B. is showing signs of a recurrence of NEC.

Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy.

- V.


Anonymous said...

We are continuing to pray.

elizabeth said...

remember that if a nurse is not able to do IV insertions and continues to not be able to get it, you can ask them to STOP and get someone more experienced.

my grandpa had to do this, some nurses are not as capable. remember that you have a say too.

hang in there. i am 30 now and i have scares from when i was a baby (was born at four pounds) because my arms were too small for IVs so they surgically put them in. praying that little B. will get better and that the nurses at teh new place will be able to be of better help.

Lord have mercy!

remember that lots are praying for you, regardless of how it may feel.

elizabeth said...

*i mean scars not scares. similar emotionally though... lots of love to the little one!

V & E said...

"remember that lots are praying for you, regardless of how it may feel."

Thank you again, and always, dear Elizabeth, for your kind words.

The funny thing is that I have no doubt in the existence of God, in His mercy, in His capability and will to act, in the fact that He loves mankind, all of it, down to the babe born yesterday. He loves my son.

I know this - I think I know it with my whole body, heart, soul, mind. But when Benet shrieks with pain or fright, or cries with loneliness, I weep inside, melting. [Sometimes I weep outside too, but as a guy I don't like to go into that much.] And I ask God why. Because I want my son home and I don't understand why he isn't there, and I don't understand why he must suffer so to get there.


I know that many are praying, including yourself, and I thank you and them for lifting us and Benet up to God in these many hours of need. I am not ungrateful for the prayers - just wrestling with the hardest of all hard questions.


- V.